If you aren't already following Portland Or Alerts (@pdxalerts) on Twitter, you should probably stop what you're doing and click that "follow" button. In addition to providing vital and important safety information regarding police and fire-related incidents in the Portland area, the account can be something of a treasure trove of incidents that reinforce Portland's motto: Keep Portland Weird!
Check out 15 tweets proving Portland deserves the #KeepPortlandWeird motto below... and these are just from this summer so far!
1. Maybe hug a tree instead?
Portland: officer reports a male doing karate moves and punching and kicking trees, area N Killingsworth/Borthwick— Portland OR Alerts (@pdxalerts) July 5, 2018
2. Somewhere a rich little girl is crying.
Portland - Police out in the 4800 block of NE 17th Ave - officers reporting they have found a lost pony wandering in the street - attempting to locate the owner— Portland OR Alerts (@pdxalerts) July 5, 2018
3. Hey man what did that can ever do to you?
Portland > police to Overlook Park (N Interstate), report of a shirtless male yelling and "karate chopping cans"— Portland OR Alerts (@pdxalerts) July 3, 2018
4. Leave it to Beavers.
Portland > police to NE 42nd/Fremont, report of a female refusing to leave business & defecating on the property. Wearing an @OregonState jacket.— Portland OR Alerts (@pdxalerts) June 30, 2018
5. Maybe if they had just offered her a hot dog she would have been cool.
Portland - Police to 8000 block of NE 53rd Ave - caller reporting 2 strangers on her back porch using her BBQ— Portland OR Alerts (@pdxalerts) June 27, 2018
6. Mr. Rogers would never do that.
Portland: police to NW 22/Thurman, caller reports he's having a dispute with his neighbor, neighbor just tried to set one of his yard plants on fire, neighbor is now walking away.— Portland OR Alerts (@pdxalerts) June 25, 2018
7. Next time go for the wireless model bro.
Portland (East - Unknown Specific Area): police requesting medical for a male who has a "computer mouse cord wrapped around his private parts".— Portland OR Alerts (@pdxalerts) June 19, 2018
8. When life imitates emoji 💃
Portland > police to NE Grand/Multnomah, report of a female in all red clothing, dancing in the middle of the road. #pdxtraffic— Portland OR Alerts (@pdxalerts) June 18, 2018
9. Sometimes you just need to reorganize things.
Portland: police to NE 86/Glisan, report that a male with a shopping cart just sat down in the middle of the westbound lanes and started unpacking his belongings. #pdxtraffic— Portland OR Alerts (@pdxalerts) June 18, 2018
10. Bicycles though? So lame, guys. Unicorn horns deserve unicycles!
Portland: officer reports a “large group of bicyclists wearing shiny unicorn horns on their head and disrupting traffic”, southbound on N Albina from Killingsworth #pdxtraffic— Portland OR Alerts (@pdxalerts) June 16, 2018
11. You're doing it backwards. You've got to pull the sword OUT of the ground, Wart.
Portland: police to SE 80/Rhine, report of a male wearing camouflage armed with a sword that he’s pushed into the ground and he’s now talking to it.— Portland OR Alerts (@pdxalerts) June 16, 2018
12. DIY and BYOB, baby. That's hustle.
Portland Info Call: report that several people "have a bar set up on a park bench", area Jamison Square NW 10/Johnson.— Portland OR Alerts (@pdxalerts) June 12, 2018
13. Had to be baked.
Portland > police to NE 6th/Ainsworth, report of a male down in the middle of the sidewalk, face in an open container of potato salad.— Portland OR Alerts (@pdxalerts) June 14, 2018
14. When you literally can't let go of your past relationship baggage.
NW Kearney Update - Officers made contact with the subjects - officers reporting the female is riding around in the suitcase willingly - all units clearing— Portland OR Alerts (@pdxalerts) June 10, 2018
15. He was lit.
Portland - police to Powell's Books (W Burnside) - report of a subject stripping off all his clothes and setting them on fire— Portland OR Alerts (@pdxalerts) May 31, 2018